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I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
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More quotes by Jay Mohr
If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.
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What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.
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I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
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There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever.
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[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
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I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
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I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
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This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
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I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get beat up by a guy with that voice? That's not the most masculine voice to take a beating to.
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I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
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I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
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I've always been very open about it. I've been very open about my addiction, about my panic disorder. But I think that transparency is what can separate you from others because I think that is where comedy is going.
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When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken. It is a bit of a moral victory.
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There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.
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After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
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If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
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My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
Jay Mohr