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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
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Carlin
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More quotes by Jay Mohr
I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.
Jay Mohr
It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.
Jay Mohr
All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
Jay Mohr
I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
Jay Mohr
You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.
Jay Mohr
I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
Jay Mohr
I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.
Jay Mohr
If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.
Jay Mohr
When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken. It is a bit of a moral victory.
Jay Mohr
I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
Jay Mohr
I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
Jay Mohr
I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get beat up by a guy with that voice? That's not the most masculine voice to take a beating to.
Jay Mohr
Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, It was pretty good. If anyone thinks my show was pretty good, then I've completely failed. I think every comic should think that.
Jay Mohr
I think stand-up's, the older they get, the better they get.
Jay Mohr
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Jay Mohr
I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
Jay Mohr
But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
Jay Mohr
There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
Jay Mohr
We all shared this experience. We all had one brain, we were one giant organism working and having joy. What about Walken? Sorry, bro...Maybe I should've done an hour and 34 minutes.
Jay Mohr
Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
Jay Mohr