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If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Shows
Anybody
Take
Actor
Men
Stand
Stage
Carlin
Alone
Essays
Hours
Broadway
Actors
George
Show
Hour

More quotes by Jay Mohr

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Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
Jay Mohr
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You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.
Jay Mohr
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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
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There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
Jay Mohr
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I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
Jay Mohr
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But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
Jay Mohr
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If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
Jay Mohr
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I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don't know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.
Jay Mohr
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I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.
Jay Mohr
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If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.
Jay Mohr
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If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
Jay Mohr
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Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.
Jay Mohr
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I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
Jay Mohr
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I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get beat up by a guy with that voice? That's not the most masculine voice to take a beating to.
Jay Mohr
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Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
Jay Mohr
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What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
Jay Mohr
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The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.
Jay Mohr
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You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Jay Mohr
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I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
Jay Mohr
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I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
Jay Mohr