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Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Imperfection
Sound
Makes
Every
Men
Satin
Sheets

More quotes by Jay Mohr

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I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don't know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.
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After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
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I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
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If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.
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Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
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I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
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I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.
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If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
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You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
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When I watch like The Office I'm fascinated because most of America works in an environment where they see the same eight people every day.
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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
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This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
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I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.
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I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
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Yogi Berra put it best, If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.
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I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
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All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
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It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.
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