Quote

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

Jay Mohr

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Thinking
Alcoholics
Like
Scotland
People
Drinking
Drink
Seen
Hillbillies
Anything
Toothless
Never
Drunken
Think
Alcoholic

More quotes by Jay Mohr

Image
What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.
Jay Mohr
Image
When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
Jay Mohr
Image
When I watch like The Office I'm fascinated because most of America works in an environment where they see the same eight people every day.
Jay Mohr
Image
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
Jay Mohr
Image
After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
Jay Mohr
Image
I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
Jay Mohr
Image
I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
Jay Mohr
Image
Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.
Jay Mohr
Image
If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
Jay Mohr
Image
If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
Jay Mohr
Image
When you do an hour and a half and you destroy, like tonight was great. I had an awesome time. I realized that I'd been up there for about an hour and a half and I realized, Wow, I'm gonna get out of here without doing Walken. It is a bit of a moral victory.
Jay Mohr
Image
You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
Jay Mohr
Image
I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.
Jay Mohr
Image
Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.
Jay Mohr
Image
I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.
Jay Mohr
Image
I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.
Jay Mohr
Image
I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don't know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.
Jay Mohr
Image
The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.
Jay Mohr
Image
It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.
Jay Mohr
Image
I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
Jay Mohr