Quote

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Also
Afternoon
Anything
Divorce
Never
Suits
Time
Sexual
Harassment
Think
Golf
Stink
Thinking
Including
Sunny
Waste
Frustrating
Found
Suit

More quotes by Jay Mohr

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All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
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The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
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She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.
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This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
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I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
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After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
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I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
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I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
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But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
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When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
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[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
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If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
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True Yankees are born, not made.
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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
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You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars? or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
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If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland. You're not an alcoholic. These people are such drunken, toothless hillbillies - I've never seen anything like it. People in Scotland drink while they're drinking.
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This happens to me every couple of years. I'll look at someone I respect and I'll realize that he's outworking me. It changes the way I behave for the next half decade.
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There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
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