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Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
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Managers
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Baseball
More quotes by Jay Mohr
If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
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All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
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My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
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I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
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She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.
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There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
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I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.
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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
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I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
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True Yankees are born, not made.
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But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
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Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
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There is a ceiling to it and there's a stigma. Billy Crystal as brilliant as he is, he's never going to be thought of as a contemporary like Alan Arkin.
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When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.
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If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
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If you were an actor, anybody could go on Broadway and take a George Carlin hour and do it on stage as a one man show. They're all stand alone essays.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
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It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.
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There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever.
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This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
Jay Mohr