Quote

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

Jay Mohr

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Charge
Team
Doesn
Sucks
Seats

More quotes by Jay Mohr

Image
What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
Jay Mohr
Image
I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.
Jay Mohr
Image
I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
Jay Mohr
Image
She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.
Jay Mohr
Image
If anyone thinks my show was 'pretty good,' then I've completely failed.
Jay Mohr
Image
True Yankees are born, not made.
Jay Mohr
Image
I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don't know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.
Jay Mohr
Image
I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.
Jay Mohr
Image
I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
Jay Mohr
Image
We all shared this experience. We all had one brain, we were one giant organism working and having joy. What about Walken? Sorry, bro...Maybe I should've done an hour and 34 minutes.
Jay Mohr
Image
I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get beat up by a guy with that voice? That's not the most masculine voice to take a beating to.
Jay Mohr
Image
I've always been very open about it. I've been very open about my addiction, about my panic disorder. But I think that transparency is what can separate you from others because I think that is where comedy is going.
Jay Mohr
Image
Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
Jay Mohr
Image
After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
Jay Mohr
Image
I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
Jay Mohr
Image
But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
Jay Mohr
Image
If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
Jay Mohr
Image
You don't have to be Willy Loman about it. But, Airline food is crazy. Hey, what's with these rent-a-cars? or you go up and talk about how Christopher Walken wanted to know where my dog's tail went. That really happened to me.
Jay Mohr
Image
It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. [Christophen] Walken is easy I can do it in my sleep. They all know it by heart. I did it on The Simpsons. I'm surprised that people still want to hear it.
Jay Mohr
Image
There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
Jay Mohr