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I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but you would think the novelty would have worn off by now and everyone would get back to playing baseball.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Enough
Seemed
Years
Baseball
Designated
Would
Playing
Hitter
Think
Wonder
Swell
Thinking
Idea
Novelty
Like
Everyone
Experiment
Back
Worn
Ideas
Experiments

More quotes by Jay Mohr

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There was never a moment in George Carlin's career where he dipped below an A+. When he came out with the Hippie Dippie Weatherman on The Tonight Show, I mean, it seems so mundane now, but it was in black and white TV and the whole bit was that this guy smoked tons of grass and was a terrible weather man. Forecast for tonight? Dark.
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I realized early I can manipulate the ceiling in the middle class. The allure becomes how far I can make the ceiling rise.
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It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.
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It doesn't hurt my voice or anything because some impressions tear my throat apart. [Christophen] Walken is easy I can do it in my sleep. They all know it by heart. I did it on The Simpsons. I'm surprised that people still want to hear it.
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But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.
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Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
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I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.
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I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
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My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
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I've always been very open about it. I've been very open about my addiction, about my panic disorder. But I think that transparency is what can separate you from others because I think that is where comedy is going.
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This is NOT a pretty good business. You cannot be pretty good and be a national headliner. That becomes the allure.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
Jay Mohr
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What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.
Jay Mohr
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The guy that designed girls' volleyball uniforms definitely never had daughters.
Jay Mohr
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I started to have panic attacks on stage and my wife just asked, Why don't you just stop? I was doing Ghost Whisperer at the time so I was making enough money where I could put it away and she said, Then, when you go back, you just go up and tell the truth. And it's a lot more tiring.
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I'd go back, yeah. I don't care, I got a kid, man - I'll sell tampons. I mean, there's no selling-out once you get a kid. I got a kid.
Jay Mohr
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Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.
Jay Mohr
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[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
Jay Mohr
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I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
Jay Mohr
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If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
Jay Mohr