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She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.
Jay Mohr
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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Rain
Sex
Cause
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Great
Cherokee
Rains
Indian
Whenever
More quotes by Jay Mohr
I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.
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Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
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I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.
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I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.
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It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.
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Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.
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There's not a rocket scientist, not a doctor, not an accountant that 30 years in goes, Oh, now I'm getting it. Now I can't wait to get back out there because I'm better than ever.
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You don't really drive in cabs in L.A. unless you're broke or homeless - or if you're broke and driving the cab.
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There was never a moment in George Carlin's career where he dipped below an A+. When he came out with the Hippie Dippie Weatherman on The Tonight Show, I mean, it seems so mundane now, but it was in black and white TV and the whole bit was that this guy smoked tons of grass and was a terrible weather man. Forecast for tonight? Dark.
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I know content-wise I leave nothing to chance. I have no anxiety about what I'm going to do once I'm out on stage.
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If it's going to really make them happy for me to do it, I'll do Walken. I've got no problem with it at all.
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Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.
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My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
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I've asked Comedy Central, and they just say, I don't know. It took Showtime two years to put my special on DVD. Owning your own content is the single most important thing in the world.
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If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.
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There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.
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We all shared this experience. We all had one brain, we were one giant organism working and having joy. What about Walken? Sorry, bro...Maybe I should've done an hour and 34 minutes.
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[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
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I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.
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I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.
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