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She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains.

Jay Mohr

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Jay Mohr
Age: 54
Born: 1970
Born: August 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Parody
Podcaster
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Causes
Great
Cherokee
Rains
Indian
Whenever
Rain
Sex
Cause

More quotes by Jay Mohr

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You could teach [George] Carlin in college. It's the construction of the word and the order of things and how they go. How all those sentences are timed perfectly.
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This happens to me every couple of years. I'll look at someone I respect and I'll realize that he's outworking me. It changes the way I behave for the next half decade.
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Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.
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Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.
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If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.
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All I can do when I'm on stage is do a show where when I come back into town they cannot possibly afford to miss the show because they remember how fun it was.
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I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get beat up by a guy with that voice? That's not the most masculine voice to take a beating to.
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I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the order.
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Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.
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I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have an inability to do a nine-to-five.
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I had a calling, this is what happened, I've explained the story many times. I've had my priest on, I've had atheists on. When I explain my conversion to atheists, my personal series of events, they go, Oh, alright.
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True Yankees are born, not made.
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After spending the last 15 years guest hosting, I couldn't be happier to get the opportunity to host my own show! I'm looking forward to talking sports, connecting with listeners, and interviewing amazing guests every day, while being a part of the FOX Sports Radio family. It was worth the wait.
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[George Carlin] was obsessive about time he was obsessive compulsive about his material and making things shorter and more perfect. He did an HBO hour every other year. It's live you have to be off-stage at 55 minutes. It's a network you've got to be off. And it's perfect.
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Most importantly, how impressive can I be to people that bought tickets, where they never feel, It was pretty good. If anyone thinks my show was pretty good, then I've completely failed. I think every comic should think that.
Jay Mohr
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What I've realized in the last year, 80% of my act has already happened to me, and it's not until you retell the story at a party or to a friend or it comes up on the podcast that you, I don't know why I'm not doing that onstage!
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I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.
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I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up.
Jay Mohr
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My radio show, I'd show up, I'd read the data, and I would have sound bites and stuff like that.
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Yogi Berra put it best, If people don't want to come, we can't stop them.
Jay Mohr