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You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Maids
Trouble
Common
Meg
Whitman
Maid
Arnold
Schwarzenegger

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We live in what's called an open society, which of course means they open our emails, open our phone records, and open our medical records.
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This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it white people.
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I saw something stupid in the paper today - a new alarm clock that makes no noise. It's for people who don't like loud noises. Instead, it slowly hits you with light and gets brighter and brighter until you wake up. I already have one of those... it's called a window.
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John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to the National Guard once a month, he's not going to show up for this.
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Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.
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According to a new study, 63% of men surveyed said they like to settle an argument by having sex. The other 37% of the men said they would never want to get into an argument with those men.
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Like in [the 1950s] if you wanted to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood you claimed he was a Communist. Nowadays, you want to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood, you claim they are Republican.
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Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name.
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At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn't that used to be called a mirror?
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The circus doesn't stop. A federal appeals court has postponed the recall election. How stupid are we? Even our recalls get recalled.
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A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.
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Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
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Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party.
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