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As you know, several times, McCain talked about serving his country in Vietnam, which is a nice change after 16 years and two presidents who could never quite explain how they got out of serving their country in Vietnam.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
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Stand-Up Comedian
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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More quotes by Jay Leno
According to CNN, Donald Rumsfeld said the war in Iraq did not go according to plan. And President Bush said, 'What? We had a plan?'
Jay Leno
Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that he paid to his mistress. See, he has just one mistress. Jesse uses the standard mistress deduction. As opposed to Clinton, who had to itemize.
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The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's President Bush's Father's Day gift to his Dad.
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The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems for them. Like players could steal a base and then deny it.
Jay Leno
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade Iraq, the whole place is oil and cash. It's like Republican Disneyland.
Jay Leno
Several states are now looking into the possibility of taxing marijuana as a source of revenue. That is so typical of the government, isn't it? Trying to squeeze blood from a stoner.
Jay Leno
At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn't that used to be called a mirror?
Jay Leno
I love all these politicians, they all say the same thing - 'We'll give California back to the people.' Yeah, great, now that it's not worth anything, they want to give it back to us.
Jay Leno
There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our bandwagon.
Jay Leno
65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.
Jay Leno
Authorities in New York City have foiled a plot by terrorists to blow up the Holland Tunnel. There was one awkward moment when officials informed President Bush the Holland Tunnel was safe. Bush then thanked the Dutch authorities for all their help.
Jay Leno
Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.
Jay Leno
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
Jay Leno
A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.
Jay Leno
It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy.
Jay Leno
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.
Jay Leno
(Gray) Davis said yesterday that he is going to fight like a Bengal tiger, which I believe is also an endangered species.
Jay Leno
There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class they really beat up.
Jay Leno
Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said this week there's a good chance we never get bin Laden. bin Laden! We couldn't even get O.J.!
Jay Leno
Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his opponents to throw all kinds of dirt at him. And you know, it's started already. Today, they released the one thing that could really hurt Arnold. Turns out he once starred in a movie with Tom Arnold.
Jay Leno
