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To give you an idea how bad the American economy is, Mexico is now calling for a fence along the border. Stay on your side!

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Giving
Stay
Side
Economy
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Fence
American
Mexico
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Along

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When we finally have this recall election in October, there could be as many as 200 people on the ballot. And you know what's really scary? Most of them don't know the first thing about driving a state into bankruptcy. They're not experts like Governor Gray Davis.
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Several states are now looking into the possibility of taxing marijuana as a source of revenue. That is so typical of the government, isn't it? Trying to squeeze blood from a stoner.
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Remember when we used to worry about some weirdo having a razor blade inside an apple on Halloween? Not anymore. Like a kid today would eat an apple.
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Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said this week there's a good chance we never get bin Laden. bin Laden! We couldn't even get O.J.!
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If it turns out that the Mayans are right and the world is going to end, you know what this means? Lindsay Lohan is a genius. She's been partying her brains out. She owes taxes. She’s crashing cars. She’s a genius!
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Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed.
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There was a rumor that Jesse Jackson was going to go over there to talk with the Taliban, apparently they were having trouble rhyming the word Jihad.
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Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.
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President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ... Kerry should have tried the Bush strategy: say so many stupid things, no one cares anymore.
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In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.
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Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.
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The lead story on MSNBC was the news that there was nothing new to report in the Gary Condit story. So remember when there is nothing new to report, MSNBC will be the station not to report it first.
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Last week convicted Enron crook Ken Lay died of a heart attack. They announced they were going to cremate him. Where he's going, why bother?.
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The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.
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French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.
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According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.
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Now, I have a Halloween mask I think you might get a kick out of. That's scary.
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Here's the latest from the Pentagon -- the generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts Afghanistan and Fox News.
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