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If I could ask Ken Lay one question right now, do you know what it would be? Does the Devil really wear Prada?

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
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Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Right
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More quotes by Jay Leno

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Clinton vetoed the repeal of the marriage tax. I guess Bill figures if he's married, then we all have to suffer.
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You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity.
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This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.
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As we watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court confirmation hearings, all of the commentators said the same thing: 'One of these people in the room is lying.' Do you believe that? You've got two lawyers and 14 senators in the room, and only one of them is lying?
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I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day!'
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People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans.
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For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that in fact many people will lose their plans. But there is a way to keep the great coverage you have. Just become a member of Congress. Then the taxpayers pay for the whole thing.
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Every year Steve Kaufman supports the charity “Love Ride” by donating a painting to this cause.
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John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her - at her bank.
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AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, The check's in the mail, people are going to say, Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote.
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Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: Former president George Bush.
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I had a dog that was so lazy, he had a prerecorded bark.
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We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their suit.
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Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry said you can't misspeak 15 times in a week and be president. And Bush said, 'You can't'?
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John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke.
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Did you see those Iraqis making that pilgrimage slashing their foreheads with knives and whipping their backs with chains. See, when Saddam Hussein was around they weren't allowed to make that pilgrimage. If they tried that with Saddam Hussein, he would have slashed their foreheads with knives and whipped their backs with chains.
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Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.
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As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to tell everyone he picked Joe Biden as his vice president. How do you think this makes Hillary Clinton feel, huh? Finally, she gets a telephone call at 3 a.m., it's to tell her they picked Joe Biden.
Jay Leno
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Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?
Jay Leno
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President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?
Jay Leno