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It's just a matter of time before we go into Iraq and get Saddam Hussein. I think just before Bush falls below 50 percent, that's when we'll be going.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
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Journalist
Screenwriter
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Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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Bush
Iraq
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More quotes by Jay Leno
Mitt Romney is coming under fire because even though he is a multimillionaire, he only paid 15 percent in taxes. That's not a tax, that's barely a tip.
Jay Leno
Authorities in New York City have foiled a plot by terrorists to blow up the Holland Tunnel. There was one awkward moment when officials informed President Bush the Holland Tunnel was safe. Bush then thanked the Dutch authorities for all their help.
Jay Leno
President Obama was in Disney World today where he unveiled his new plan to create jobs. He was joined by Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse but not Goofy. He had to stay behind to tend to his vice presidential duties.
Jay Leno
Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'
Jay Leno
Dean's wife, Judith Steinberg, made a rare appearance with Dean. She's a doctor, so I guess they brought her in to stop the hemorrhaging.
Jay Leno
Here is a very inexpensive costume idea. Wear a re-elect Obama button and go out as a journalist.
Jay Leno
Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have the same electoral process we do, you don't need the popular vote to win.
Jay Leno
Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that he paid to his mistress. See, he has just one mistress. Jesse uses the standard mistress deduction. As opposed to Clinton, who had to itemize.
Jay Leno
The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first.
Jay Leno
President Bush fell off his mountain bike down on his ranch in Texas. A couple weeks ago, John Kerry fell off his bicycle. See, doesn't this make you miss President Clinton? That guy, he could ride anything without falling off.
Jay Leno
It turns out Enron workers were not only shredding documents at work, they were having sex at work. Having sex and shredding documents. Those are two things you don't want to get mixed up.
Jay Leno
Racecar driving is a lot like sex all men think they're good at it.
Jay Leno
As you know, several times, McCain talked about serving his country in Vietnam, which is a nice change after 16 years and two presidents who could never quite explain how they got out of serving their country in Vietnam.
Jay Leno
We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their suit.
Jay Leno
The Iraqis sat down for talks on how to put together a post-war government. They would have sat down yesterday, but somebody stole all their couches.
Jay Leno
To give you an idea how bad the American economy is, Mexico is now calling for a fence along the border. Stay on your side!
Jay Leno
L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.
Jay Leno
The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.
Jay Leno
Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking for the economy. That way, if the dog leaves a mess in the White House, it'll be cleaned up by future generations.
Jay Leno
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a recent speech. Kerry was stunned about this. He said, 'What? People are listening to my speeches?'
Jay Leno