Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Two Americans have been awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics. They are the first to figure out all the charges on their telephone bill.
Jay Leno
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Two
Nobel
Firsts
Prize
First
Bill
Bills
Economics
Awarded
Figure
Charges
Figures
Telephone
Americans
Telephones
More quotes by Jay Leno
There was also talk of bringing Al Gore to California to help out, but there was concern that Gray Davis and Al Gore in the same state would cause some kind of rolling personality blackout.
Jay Leno
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag
Jay Leno
U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss this?
Jay Leno
Congress voted for tougher laws on corporations. So now when a corporation buys a senator, they need a receipt.
Jay Leno
Racecar driving is a lot like sex all men think they're good at it.
Jay Leno
AT&T is now offering a new service that allows you to pay your bills through your TV screen by using your remote control. So instead of saying, The check's in the mail, people are going to say, Hey, I wanted to pay, but I couldn't find the remote.
Jay Leno
One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President Bush has him beat.
Jay Leno
I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard than the consumer needed. Cars like the Wills Sainte Claire or the Duesenberg.
Jay Leno
Oil prices jumped to well over $100 a barrel, and analysts say it's due to tension in the Middle East. So, luckily, it's just a temporary thing.
Jay Leno
President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?
Jay Leno
General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even win elections.
Jay Leno
President Obama's re-election campaign said that this year they'll knock on 150 percent more doors than they did in 2008. Well, of course they will. They have to. There's so many foreclosures it's tough to tell where people live.
Jay Leno
Bin Laden was once targeted by President Clinton. President Clinton wanted to kill him but couldn't get him. Of course not, we all know what kind of aim Clinton has.
Jay Leno
The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me.
Jay Leno
President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.
Jay Leno
The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.
Jay Leno
There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!
Jay Leno
According to government auditors, the stimulus money is being held up because there aren't enough government workers to oversee the spending. So follow me, in other words, government workers who aren't there are needed to spend money we don't have to create jobs that don't exist.
Jay Leno
Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.
Jay Leno
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White.
Jay Leno