Quote

55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time!

Jay Leno

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Must
Lose
Mean
Loses
Time
Week
Control
Show
Times
Remote
Means
Americans
Shows
Minutes

More quotes by Jay Leno

Image
John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man.
Jay Leno
Image
Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.
Jay Leno
Image
President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ... Kerry should have tried the Bush strategy: say so many stupid things, no one cares anymore.
Jay Leno
Image
Ex-convicts prepared the eggs for the White House’s Easter Egg Roll. It’s nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress.
Jay Leno
Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya, if Arnold does run, he better get on the ballot, because you don't want a write-in with a name like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because people will go - 'Schwarz, schwarz, oh Davis is easier.'
Jay Leno
Image
Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.
Jay Leno
Image
There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it's safe to say that after all these years, Diet Coke is a complete failure.
Jay Leno
Image
Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just an ambitious guy with a famous name, who doesn't know anything about running the government. Didn't hurt George Bush.
Jay Leno
Image
French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly.
Jay Leno
Image
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
Jay Leno
Image
Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11.
Jay Leno
Image
Bin Laden was once targeted by President Clinton. President Clinton wanted to kill him but couldn't get him. Of course not, we all know what kind of aim Clinton has.
Jay Leno
Image
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
Image
The FBI is urging all Americans to beware of any letters or packages that have badly misspelled words. Man, this is going to be terrible news for the rap industry.
Jay Leno
Image
In his first speech as Speaker, Boehner thanked his loved ones - tobacco lobbyists, the oil companies, the CEOs.
Jay Leno
Image
According to the latest poll, a record 73 percent of Americans think the country is headed in the wrong direction. But the good news: Gas is so expensive that we'll never get there.
Jay Leno
Image
I was born the day I got my license. When I was a kid, if I wanted to go somewhere and see things, you have to get in your car and actually go.
Jay Leno
Image
President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare.
Jay Leno
Image
Sarah Palin has revealed she has tried marijuana, but she did not like it. You know, it's amazing: 200 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only ones who don't like it seem to be elected officials. Ever notice that?
Jay Leno
Image
Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you're not going to keep the next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. For men, we just call that a date.
Jay Leno