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Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Liars
Lying
Men

More quotes by Jay Leno

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My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?
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A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth. Today he was offered a job as President Obama's economic adviser.
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The worst thing about losing this job: I’m no longer covered by NBC. I have to sign up for ObamaCare.
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Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you make a lot of promises you're not going to keep the next morning as soon as you wake up you start breaking them. For men, we just call that a date.
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Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free.
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Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.
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If I could ask Ken Lay one question right now, do you know what it would be? Does the Devil really wear Prada?
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It's cold out. It's even cold in Florida. So cold today that Katherine Harris put on a third layer of makeup.
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Senator Chris Dodd unveiled his plan to reduce corruption in the Senate. He's retiring.
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Today the United States has admitted that after months and months of searching, we still have no idea where Osama bin Laden is. Osama bin Laden? We can't even find Kenneth Lay.
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It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.
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The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam Hussein supporters to get them to talk. Theyre blaring heavy metal music at them. That should make the artist feel pretty good, huh? Put your heart and soul into your last CD and the Army is using it to torture people.
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If it turns out that the Mayans are right and the world is going to end, you know what this means? Lindsay Lohan is a genius. She's been partying her brains out. She owes taxes. She’s crashing cars. She’s a genius!
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Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.
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The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.
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President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.
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As if this whole thing isn't confusing enough, election officials announced this week that the alphabet on the ballot will begin with the letter R, then W, then Q. You know, even Sesame Street is laughing at California now.
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Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.
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Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.
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President Clinton and President Obama played a round of golf over the weekend. President Clinton asked Obama what his handicap was, and Obama said, 'Joe Biden.'
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