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There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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More quotes by Jay Leno

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Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
Jay Leno
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I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard than the consumer needed. Cars like the Wills Sainte Claire or the Duesenberg.
Jay Leno
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Rick Santorum is so conservative he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky.
Jay Leno
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Congratulation s to Rahm Emanuel on being elected mayor of Chicago. His first order of business after taking office will be to actually move to Chicago.
Jay Leno
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Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it was too expensive. So the people who voted for Obamacare for us voted to exempt themselves from it. You know how doctors take the Hippocratic Oath. Congress apparently takes the 'Hypocritic Oath.'
Jay Leno
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President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.
Jay Leno
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Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail. There's a switch - the environment hurting Bush.
Jay Leno
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It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.
Jay Leno
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This week the White House proposed fingerprinting and photographing foreign visitors so they can do background checks. Officials in Saudi Arabia said this will only increase anti-American feelings in the Mideast. Is that possible? Gee, you hate to have people dislike us for no reason. Things were going so well.
Jay Leno
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Never perform for your family. They either laugh too hard or not at all.
Jay Leno
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Did you hear about this 20-year-old kid named John Walker from Northern California who was apparently fighting for the Taliban?... It didn't take long for the TV networks to jump on this Walker thing. CBS has a new show: 'Walker: Taliban Ranger.'
Jay Leno
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I guess you heard about this the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.
Jay Leno
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The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.
Jay Leno
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John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.
Jay Leno
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Rick Perry was philosophical about (his election losses). He said, 'Last week was Iowa. Yesterday was New Hampshire. ' He said at least it's giving him a chance to learn the names of all the states.
Jay Leno
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Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11.
Jay Leno
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Elections officials here in California are concerned that having 247 candidates would require a ballot so long it would be difficult to count. Today in Florida they said, 'What? You count the ballots?'
Jay Leno
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A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.
Jay Leno
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Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.
Jay Leno
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This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three words for this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his money, he'll be dead in a week.
Jay Leno