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A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain -- and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
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New Rochelle
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James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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More quotes by Jay Leno
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The guy who did all the coke winds up going to the White House, the guy who didn't do coke goes to Columbia.
Jay Leno
Last week convicted Enron crook Ken Lay died of a heart attack. They announced they were going to cremate him. Where he's going, why bother?.
Jay Leno
President Obama gave a big speech on climate change. He believes global warming is getting worse because apparently he's sweating a lot more during his second term
Jay Leno
President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'
Jay Leno
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
Jay Leno
George W. Bush loves golf because it's like the election--low score wins.
Jay Leno
President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare.
Jay Leno
Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling appeared before Congress. Do you think they even bothered swearing him in? Now he is denying he lied to Congress last week. He's saying it was just the liquor talking.
Jay Leno
How about this John Edwards thing? Imagine that, a personal injury attorney who turns out to be a sleaze ball. Who could have seen that coming?
Jay Leno
One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President Bush has him beat.
Jay Leno
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.
Jay Leno
Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.
Jay Leno
So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?
Jay Leno
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference.
Jay Leno
The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do you know this story? He failed to report he had some work done on his house. Yeah, here's the bad part. You know who did the work? Joe the plumber. Unlicensed.
Jay Leno
Before we give the government any more money, show us some receipts.
Jay Leno
What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their faces just so they won't be recognized.
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A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father.
Jay Leno
Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.
Jay Leno
A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.
Jay Leno