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Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Mean
Martha
Years
Stewart
Charges
Stripes
Guilty
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Found
More quotes by Jay Leno
The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.
Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.
Jay Leno
I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard than the consumer needed. Cars like the Wills Sainte Claire or the Duesenberg.
Jay Leno
Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!
Jay Leno
Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one of 12 children. He grew up in a two room home with just one bathroom, worked his way through school, became the first person in his family to graduate from college. And, sadly, fell in with the wrong crowd and wound up in Congress.
Jay Leno
President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again.
Jay Leno
Financial experts are saying we are entering a new chapter in the American economy. I believe it's Chapter 11.
Jay Leno
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.
Jay Leno
They say that most airline seats on planes today are meant for 170-pound passengers. The last time the average American weighed 170 pounds, the Wright Brothers were flying the plane.
Jay Leno
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a recent speech. Kerry was stunned about this. He said, 'What? People are listening to my speeches?'
Jay Leno
Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time looking at Facebook.
Jay Leno
And some sad news... the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities.
Jay Leno
A new poll shows only 3 percent strongly approve of the job Congress is doing, with a margin of error of 4 percent, so it's possible that less than no one thinks they're doing a good job.
Jay Leno
Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it was too expensive. So the people who voted for Obamacare for us voted to exempt themselves from it. You know how doctors take the Hippocratic Oath. Congress apparently takes the 'Hypocritic Oath.'
Jay Leno
Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in the first few months.
Jay Leno
Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a job, and get a life. That's the Republican version of hope and change, ladies and gentlemen.
Jay Leno
We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Jay Leno
The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do you know this story? He failed to report he had some work done on his house. Yeah, here's the bad part. You know who did the work? Joe the plumber. Unlicensed.
Jay Leno
As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her.
Jay Leno
President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well sure, there's a Bush in the White House, the economy's going to hell, we're going to war over oil. I've seen this movie, haven't I?
Jay Leno