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It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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Obama
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More quotes by Jay Leno
The Obama administration has admitted that under Obamacare, you might not be able to keep your doctor. At first the president guaranteed you'd be able to keep your doctor, and now they're saying you 'might' be able to. Today Obama changed his slogan from 'Yes we can' to 'Perhaps we could try. Can't promise anything.'
Jay Leno
They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it's not the bun?
Jay Leno
Here at work, obviously, I make the most money of anyone on the show, so I try to be the first one here and the last one to leave. I have the crummiest office. I try to balance things out, spread it around.
Jay Leno
More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden. You know, he never sleeps in the same place two nights in a row, just like Clinton.
Jay Leno
Before we give the government any more money, show us some receipts.
Jay Leno
For the first time ever, women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests. Scientists say it has something to do with breast implants -- not that it makes the women smarter, it just makes the men dumber.
Jay Leno
The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the ones in charge of implementing it. They say the threats people are making to the IRS are so bad, that they are actually hindering the IRS's ability to threaten people.
Jay Leno
Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
At Ken Lay's funeral service the minister compared him to Dr. Martin Luther King, Junior. The difference is Dr. King had a dream, Ken Lay had a scheme.
Jay Leno
Howard Dean dropped out of the race today. At least he can't claim his voice wasn't heard.
Jay Leno
Jesse Jackson's wife was arrested in Puerto Rico while protesting the naval bombings there. Jesse said he was holding a meeting with four of his secretaries to decide what to do and that these meetings could run well into the night.
Jay Leno
Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.
Jay Leno
Howard Dean was endorsed by Al Gore. Now, if Dean could get Gray Davis to campaign for him, that would put him over the top.
Jay Leno
Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie?
Jay Leno
You know what Ken Lay had for breakfast this morning? Shredded Wheat.
Jay Leno
The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him.
Jay Leno
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
Jay Leno
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
Jay Leno
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
Jay Leno
The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th. If it is more then three years they will just keep it. How come it doesn't work that way with back taxes?
Jay Leno