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I went to see the Terminator movie the other night. Every time Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the screen this guy in front of me went 'Booo! Booo!' and was throwing stuff. I had to say 'Governor Davis just shut up and sit down!'
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
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Journalist
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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Terminator
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More quotes by Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown office rent - over $500,000 a year. She's in a one-year lease in the office, as opposed to her marriage, which is on a month-to-month.
Jay Leno
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.
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President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.
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Remember when we used to worry about some weirdo having a razor blade inside an apple on Halloween? Not anymore. Like a kid today would eat an apple.
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A lot of people are now criticizing Attorney General John Ashcroft for his policy on detaining what he considers suspicious people. I think he's going a little overboard. Today, he arrested the entire band Foreigner.
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Anybody who gives their car to a valet isn't a car guy
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The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That’s a long trip for Joe Biden.
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So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?
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For the first time ever, women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests. Scientists say it has something to do with breast implants -- not that it makes the women smarter, it just makes the men dumber.
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Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time looking at Facebook.
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According to The New York Times, more than half of President Obama's Twitter followers are fake. They don't even exist. Which is actually a good thing because if they did exist there wouldn't be any jobs for them.
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We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president enjoys visiting NBC because we're the only place that has lower numbers than he does.
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Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.
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According to geologists, about 100 million years from now, Asia and the Americas will smash together to form one giant supercontinent. The good news: Maybe all those jobs that went over there will finally come back.
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John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take the country back? See, he knows how the wealthy think. He can spy on them at his country club, at his place in Palm Beach, at his house in the Hamptons. He's like a mole for the working man.
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With Halloween coming this weekend, they say not one person in the country is planning to dress up as Governor Sarah Palin. You know why? ... The costume costs $150,000.
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After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over 10 years. I can't figure out if he's the kind of guy who makes infomercials, or the kind of guy who falls for infomercials.
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At Ken Lay's funeral service the minister compared him to Dr. Martin Luther King, Junior. The difference is Dr. King had a dream, Ken Lay had a scheme.
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The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me.
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More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own.
Jay Leno