Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.
Jay Leno
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
People
Service
Kerry
Position
Announced
Issues
Positions
Secret
Twice
Understand
Mad
Two
Protection
Many
John
Every
Issue
Doubling
More quotes by Jay Leno
The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th. If it is more then three years they will just keep it. How come it doesn't work that way with back taxes?
Jay Leno
The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama played for.
Jay Leno
The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National Transportation Safety Board did an inspection on the plane, and you know what they found? The bolts on the plane were fine, but apparently Jesse Jackson had taken some of the nuts off.
Jay Leno
When President Chirac gave [President] Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower... Bush said 'This is great! A little oil rig!'
Jay Leno
Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language.
Jay Leno
Howard Dean dropped out of the race today. At least he can't claim his voice wasn't heard.
Jay Leno
Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people.
Jay Leno
There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our bandwagon.
Jay Leno
Show business pays you a lot of money, because eventually you’re gonna get screwed.
Jay Leno
The NFL draft is going to be this Thursday. That's a huge night for college players. That's the night they start being paid over the table.
Jay Leno
In spite of the poor economy, almost 70 percent of Americans occasionally splurge on luxury items -- like a blanket on a plane, or a peanut.
Jay Leno
President Obama told a group of school children that broccoli was his favorite food, and they believed him. Then he told them Obamacare would reduce the deficit and the kids all busted out laughing.
Jay Leno
Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.
Jay Leno
In People magazine, Madonna said her life has been exhausting since she started her world tour. She said there isn't a second of her life that isn't taken up looking after her family or thinking of her show - her day is filled with problems of work and family. Someone should tell her, everyone else calls that, life.
Jay Leno
Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?
Jay Leno
I guess we didn't even officially apologize. Jesse Jackson called on the United States to officially apologize to the Chinese. Jesse said, 'An apology is not a sign of weakness.' And as President Clinton has taught us, an apology isn't even a sign you're sorry.
Jay Leno
According to today's Los Angeles Times, Gray Davis now gets negative job ratings from white people, black people, Latinos, Republicans, Independents and even Democrats. Say what you want about the guy but he's a uniter!
Jay Leno
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just thought it was an American city because there were so many Mexicans there.
Jay Leno
Major heat wave in India - 122 degrees today. It was so hot people in India were sweating like Americans waiting to hear if their job is being outsourced to India.
Jay Leno
Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave to attend a fundraiser.
Jay Leno