Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.
Jay Leno
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
John
Rich
President
Catering
Marries
Kerry
Accused
Opposed
Bush
More quotes by Jay Leno
I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a how-to manual for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing outside a water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here it could wipe out thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every day!'
Jay Leno
According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues.
Jay Leno
You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke the 11th commandment, 'Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff.'
Jay Leno
The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you're like me and you want like to eat healthy, get your stick of butter baked.
Jay Leno
In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans.
Jay Leno
As we watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court confirmation hearings, all of the commentators said the same thing: 'One of these people in the room is lying.' Do you believe that? You've got two lawyers and 14 senators in the room, and only one of them is lying?
Jay Leno
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.
Jay Leno
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts.
Jay Leno
Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, that's according to Saddam's campaign manager, Jeb Hussein.
Jay Leno
Never perform for your family. They either laugh too hard or not at all.
Jay Leno
Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that he paid to his mistress. See, he has just one mistress. Jesse uses the standard mistress deduction. As opposed to Clinton, who had to itemize.
Jay Leno
With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for the debates. That's kind of a stretch a rich white guy from Massachusetts playing a rich white guy from Massachusetts.
Jay Leno
There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the other way. The only problem is when Hillary does look the other way Bill's having sex with a women over there too.
Jay Leno
The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think that's President Bush's Father's Day gift to his Dad.
Jay Leno
Bush is smart. I don't think that Bush will ever be impeached, 'cause unlike Clinton, Reagan, or even his father, George W. is immune from scandal. Because, if George W. testifies that he had no idea what was going on, wouldn't you believe him?
Jay Leno
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
Jay Leno
President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money.
Jay Leno
This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.
Jay Leno
Attorney General John Ashcroft said there is a new credible terrorist threat. He said everything is under control not to panic. And then he went back to his harmonically sealed bunker.
Jay Leno
For the first time ever, women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests. Scientists say it has something to do with breast implants -- not that it makes the women smarter, it just makes the men dumber.
Jay Leno