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It turns out Enron workers were not only shredding documents at work, they were having sex at work. Having sex and shredding documents. Those are two things you don't want to get mixed up.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Sex
Turns
Two
Work
Things
Shredding
Mixed
Documents
Workers
More quotes by Jay Leno
President Bush said that our kids must be taught how to read. He said if his aides never learned to read, they'd never be able to tell him what's in the newspapers every day.
Jay Leno
President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not for dietary reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.
Jay Leno
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They worked all day on it. They still couldn't get President Obama out of Bill Clinton's shadow.
Jay Leno
Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he's questioning Bush's judgment.
Jay Leno
Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing.
Jay Leno
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out on the ice and skate around reporters' questions, so it should be interesting.
Jay Leno
Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign contributor to the Republican Party. So now, he'll be able to meet with those same people when he goes to prison.
Jay Leno
This week the White House proposed fingerprinting and photographing foreign visitors so they can do background checks. Officials in Saudi Arabia said this will only increase anti-American feelings in the Mideast. Is that possible? Gee, you hate to have people dislike us for no reason. Things were going so well.
Jay Leno
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
Jay Leno
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise was, instead of a holdup note he was reading from a teleprompter.
Jay Leno
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at the end of that golf game? Boehner will be crying over his score and Obama will be giving three explanations as to why his score is actually better than it appears.
Jay Leno
If there isn't a parking space out front or I can't see my car from the window, we're eating somewhere else.
Jay Leno
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart. He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living here by election time.
Jay Leno
I'm not a person who carries my emotions on my sleeve.
Jay Leno
With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for the debates. That's kind of a stretch a rich white guy from Massachusetts playing a rich white guy from Massachusetts.
Jay Leno
The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty good, and begs the question, why the long face?
Jay Leno
Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry because of security reasons. Because they're easy to hack into. In fact, when Obama heard he might have to give it up, he said, 'OMG! WTF?' I mean, he couldn't believe it.
Jay Leno
In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network Donald Trump said I believe in god. But of course The Donald was talking about Himself.
Jay Leno
So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?
Jay Leno
This is my favorite story of the week. The Republican National Committee is in trouble after spending nearly $2,000 at a bondage club in Hollywood. You know what I call a Republican who spends a lot of money in a strip club? A Democrat.
Jay Leno