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Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Thing
Playboy
Magazine
Apparently
Magazines
Spread
Dignity
Left
Shred
Women
Pictorial
More quotes by Jay Leno
President Obama's re-election campaign said that this year they'll knock on 150 percent more doors than they did in 2008. Well, of course they will. They have to. There's so many foreclosures it's tough to tell where people live.
Jay Leno
Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.
Jay Leno
If it turns out that the Mayans are right and the world is going to end, you know what this means? Lindsay Lohan is a genius. She's been partying her brains out. She owes taxes. She’s crashing cars. She’s a genius!
Jay Leno
Ex-convicts prepared the eggs for the White House’s Easter Egg Roll. It’s nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress.
Jay Leno
There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this is part of America's new defense strategy to bore our enemies to death.
Jay Leno
The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam Hussein supporters to get them to talk. Theyre blaring heavy metal music at them. That should make the artist feel pretty good, huh? Put your heart and soul into your last CD and the Army is using it to torture people.
Jay Leno
The latest issue of GQ magazine, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John Kerry is going to talk about what he likes in a woman, shouldn't it be in Fortune or Money magazine?
Jay Leno
Show business pays you a lot of money, because eventually you’re gonna get screwed.
Jay Leno
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your New Year's resolution.
Jay Leno
Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse?
Jay Leno
One thing about mildly dyslexic people - they're good at setting everything else aside to pursue one goal.
Jay Leno
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
Jay Leno
Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home countries or enter the New York City cab driver training program.
Jay Leno
You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.
Jay Leno
President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.
Jay Leno
Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder.
Jay Leno
John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to the National Guard once a month, he's not going to show up for this.
Jay Leno
As they do every year, al-Qaida has threatened to disrupt and ruin Christmas. You know, we already have a group that disrupts and ruins Christmas every year. They're called relatives.
Jay Leno
The heaviest snowfall in over 60 years is being reported in Beijing, China. To give you an idea of how bad it is, the army is now using snowplows to run over dissidents.
Jay Leno
Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.
Jay Leno