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You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Diversity
Republican
Guy
Looking
Right
Orange
Counts
Republicans
More quotes by Jay Leno
It happened again this week. Hundreds of people had to be evacuated from O'Hare Airport in Chicago. Seems every time somebody went through with a weapon, the metal detectors accidentally went off.
Jay Leno
Sarah Palin has revealed she has tried marijuana, but she did not like it. You know, it's amazing: 200 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only ones who don't like it seem to be elected officials. Ever notice that?
Jay Leno
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!
Jay Leno
North Korea is now threatening the United States with all-out war. You can see they're stepping it up. In fact, they released 10 more photos of Kim Jong Un looking through binoculars.
Jay Leno
Never perform for your family. They either laugh too hard or not at all.
Jay Leno
Senator Chris Dodd unveiled his plan to reduce corruption in the Senate. He's retiring.
Jay Leno
The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you're like me and you want like to eat healthy, get your stick of butter baked.
Jay Leno
Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he is going to run for governor on our program last night. My staff didn't know, Arnold's staff didn't know, I was shocked as everyone else. If he doesn't get elected governor, maybe he should work for the CIA. I mean, he can keep a secret better than they can.
Jay Leno
Rick Santorum is so conservative he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky.
Jay Leno
President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms. He's going to disappear and go fishing. So he must think he's back in the National Guard.
Jay Leno
Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his opponents to throw all kinds of dirt at him. And you know, it's started already. Today, they released the one thing that could really hurt Arnold. Turns out he once starred in a movie with Tom Arnold.
Jay Leno
In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.
Jay Leno
CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.
Jay Leno
The Obama administration has admitted that under Obamacare, you might not be able to keep your doctor. At first the president guaranteed you'd be able to keep your doctor, and now they're saying you 'might' be able to. Today Obama changed his slogan from 'Yes we can' to 'Perhaps we could try. Can't promise anything.'
Jay Leno
Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus with her sports car, but no one was hurt. She said she didn't know what happened. One minute she was concentrating on the big white line, and the next, boom!
Jay Leno
According to government auditors, the stimulus money is being held up because there aren't enough government workers to oversee the spending. So follow me, in other words, government workers who aren't there are needed to spend money we don't have to create jobs that don't exist.
Jay Leno
According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take a harder stance on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair
Jay Leno
Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can.
Jay Leno
A fitness instructor in Maine has been charged with running a prostitution business out of her Zumba dance studio. Authorities first got suspicious when they saw guys going to work out at a Zumba dance studio.
Jay Leno
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
Jay Leno