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Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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More quotes by Jay Leno
Attorney General John Ashcroft said there is a new credible terrorist threat. He said everything is under control not to panic. And then he went back to his harmonically sealed bunker.
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I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.
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President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did not have any medals to throw away, but in his defense he did have all his services records thrown out.
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There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!
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As you may have heard, the U.S. is putting together a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? Think about it - it was written by very smart people, it's served us well for over two hundred years, and besides, we're not using it anymore.
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Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry to Davenport, Iowa New Mexico Las Vegas Los Angeles and he follows him to Portland, Oregon. The only place he never followed John Kerry was Vietnam.
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The NFL draft is going to be this Thursday. That's a huge night for college players. That's the night they start being paid over the table.
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I'm not a person who carries my emotions on my sleeve.
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I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.
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Senator Chris Dodd unveiled his plan to reduce corruption in the Senate. He's retiring.
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There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this is part of America's new defense strategy to bore our enemies to death.
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Scientists think they can now clone an all-white zebra. Now, I'm no expert, but isn't that a horse?
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There are over 30 doctors running for the US Congress this year. That's going to be rather strange. Half the time these folks will be playing God and asking women to take their clothes off and the other half the time they will be doctors.
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Every year Steve Kaufman supports the charity “Love Ride” by donating a painting to this cause.
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In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.
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As if this whole thing isn't confusing enough, election officials announced this week that the alphabet on the ballot will begin with the letter R, then W, then Q. You know, even Sesame Street is laughing at California now.
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Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!
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A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.
Jay Leno
Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of questions. You know, such as: does that best man invite both guys to the bachelor party?
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The entire spring and summer line from Marc Jacobs was stolen on the way to the fashion show in Paris. The thief is considered armed and fabulous.
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