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There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class they really beat up.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
People
Beat
Beats
Door
Cockpit
Doors
Penalty
Class
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Money
Knock
Trying
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Really
Coaches
More quotes by Jay Leno
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise was, instead of a holdup note he was reading from a teleprompter.
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Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he's questioning Bush's judgment.
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In a groundbreaking move, the Associated Press, the largest news-gathering organization in the World, will no longer use the term 'illegal immigrant'. They will now use the phrase 'undocumented democrat'.
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The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
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The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to mention that to Bob Dole when I see him.
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In the spirit of the Olympic Games, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, there's hope for a ceasefire within the Jackson family.
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CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.
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Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.
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President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'
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Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.
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Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
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Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'
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A historic operation occurred over in Boston. Doctors successfully transplanted tissue from a pig's brain to a man's brain -- and the man's brain did not reject it. That pretty much confirms what women have been saying about men.
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In spite of the poor economy, almost 70 percent of Americans occasionally splurge on luxury items -- like a blanket on a plane, or a peanut.
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Colin Farrel was recently asked about prostitutes and he said, It's like ordering a pizza. Really? What restaurant is he going to? All I ever get is a pizza... I guess in some ways it is - when it's delivered, it's never quite as hot as you hoped it would be.
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If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
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Pundits are saying that President Obama is starting to lose support among his own party. To give you an idea of how bad it's gotten, today Jimmy Carter compared him to Jimmy Carter.
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Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.
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Whitney Houston rear-ended a city bus with her sports car, but no one was hurt. She said she didn't know what happened. One minute she was concentrating on the big white line, and the next, boom!
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Rick Santorum is so conservative he thinks KY Jelly is jam made in Kentucky.
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