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I am not just another notch on your belt? she asked him. Of course not. he said as he put a mark on the chalkboard.

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
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New Rochelle
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James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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More quotes by Jay Leno

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A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron?
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You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke the 11th commandment, 'Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff.'
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Nike actually has a pair of shoes called Air-Turbulence. Try getting past airline security wearing those. Might as well call them Air-Osama.
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Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of a scary proposition when you think about it. I mean his dad picked Dan Quayle, an he isn't as smart as his dad.
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For the first time ever, women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests. Scientists say it has something to do with breast implants -- not that it makes the women smarter, it just makes the men dumber.
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What's going on with the Oakland Raiders? You know, I don't want to say the Raiders are bad, but you know, now, a lot of fans are painting their faces just so they won't be recognized.
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According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time you even ran into a Mayan?
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The lead story on MSNBC was the news that there was nothing new to report in the Gary Condit story. So remember when there is nothing new to report, MSNBC will be the station not to report it first.
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Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wall Mart Street
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Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party.
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The United States is sending its most powerful drone to Libya. That’s a long trip for Joe Biden.
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As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's about gasoline.
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The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do you know this story? He failed to report he had some work done on his house. Yeah, here's the bad part. You know who did the work? Joe the plumber. Unlicensed.
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Playboy magazine is now doing a 'Women of Enron' pictorial spread. ... Apparently the only thing these women have left to shred is their dignity.
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I'm trying to sum up President Obama's first 11 months in office. He gave billions to Wall Street, cracked down on illegal immigrants getting health care, and he's sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. You know something, he may go down in history as our greatest Republican president ever.
Jay Leno
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Fox News has changed its slogan from 'Fair and Balanced' to 'See, I told you so!'
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You know what really makes this embarrassing? The other day the president said the leaders in Iraq are 'ready to take off the training wheels.' That's what he said, 'take off the training wheels.' Then he goes out and falls off his bicycle. And they wonder why the rest of the world doesn't take us seriously.
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The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.
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My dad's idea of a good time is to go to Sears and walk around.
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They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking. He's doing it!
Jay Leno