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America needs ObamaCare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Nancy
Halloween
Mask
America
Needs
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We've got the government shutdown, but the beginning of Obamacare. You know what that means? You can now complain to your doctor about the government making you sick.
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Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.
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John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale who lives in the White house facing off against the rich white guy from Yale who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich white guy from Yale who lives in Massachusetts. It's a whole different game.
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The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code - they don't like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.
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Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.
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It's not called cocaine any more. It's now referred to as Crack Classic.
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In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.' Then he hugged his wife, Teresa, heir to the multi-million dollar Heinz food fortune.
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A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time.
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Before we give the government any more money, show us some receipts.
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Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
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