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They say that most airline seats on planes today are meant for 170-pound passengers. The last time the average American weighed 170 pounds, the Wright Brothers were flying the plane.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
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Stand-Up Comedian
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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More quotes by Jay Leno
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All I ask is that you tip your waiters and waitresses. We have to turn this situation around.
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A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by double digit margins. The White House is so worried about this, they're now thinking of moving up the capture of Osama Bin Laden to next month.
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There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this is part of America's new defense strategy to bore our enemies to death.
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John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her - at her bank.
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A lot of people are now criticizing Attorney General John Ashcroft for his policy on detaining what he considers suspicious people. I think he's going a little overboard. Today, he arrested the entire band Foreigner.
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Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs?
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After saying the jobs bill is paid for, President Obama now says that it will be paid for by raising taxes over 10 years. I can't figure out if he's the kind of guy who makes infomercials, or the kind of guy who falls for infomercials.
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There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the other way. The only problem is when Hillary does look the other way Bill's having sex with a women over there too.
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According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take a harder stance on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair
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