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How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are more worried about it starting back up?
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
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Government
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Worried
More quotes by Jay Leno
To give you an idea how bad the American economy is, Mexico is now calling for a fence along the border. Stay on your side!
Jay Leno
According to geologists, about 100 million years from now, Asia and the Americas will smash together to form one giant supercontinent. The good news: Maybe all those jobs that went over there will finally come back.
Jay Leno
Attorney General John Ashcroft said there is a new credible terrorist threat. He said everything is under control not to panic. And then he went back to his harmonically sealed bunker.
Jay Leno
Scientists say that Texas and Antarctica were connected at one time. In fact, early Mexicans used to go through Texas to try to sneak into Antarctica.
Jay Leno
President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.
Jay Leno
Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.
Jay Leno
The FBI announced today that they are now looking for Osama bin Laden's financial adviser. You think this guy is in demand. How good can he be? his top client is living in a cave and driving a donkey. It doesn't sound like he is getting the best return on his investments to me.
Jay Leno
A congressman actually apologized to BP's CEO for the way the company has been treated. How stupid are you when the CEO of BP is in the room and people think you're the moron?
Jay Leno
Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It's going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as women grow another breast, men will want another hand.
Jay Leno
They were going crazy in Kansas. People were up to 9 p.m. I think that was the greatest thing to happen to Kansas since the eradication of the boll weevil.
Jay Leno
According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take a harder stance on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair
Jay Leno
You know what Ken Lay had for breakfast this morning? Shredded Wheat.
Jay Leno
Kentucky Fried Chicken.. KFC... Keep Fooling Customers.
Jay Leno
When you work with your hands, you learn to appreciate how easy it is to earn money talking.
Jay Leno
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up. Say what you want about Trump, at least this guy has his priorities in order. He doesn't want to let actual reality get in the way of his reality show.
Jay Leno
Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.
Jay Leno
There's a new Osama bin Laden video. He's the only person that is looking thin during the holidays. How does he do it? I think he's going to Jenny Craig.
Jay Leno
More details coming out about Michael Jackson. It seems his 13-year-old accuser testified before a grand jury that Michael had seven locks on his bedroom door. See, what happened was whenever Michael would install one lock, the kid would grow an inch taller, and he'd have to put in another one, and then another one, and then another one.
Jay Leno
John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the polls. How's that make him feel? Disappears for a week and he's up in the polls. What else can he do now but go into hiding.
Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
Jay Leno