Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know why? When you're $16 trillion in debt, they don't let you in.
Jay Leno
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Obama
However
Casinos
Lasts
Rally
Last
Trillion
President
Flew
Night
Vegas
Visit
Debt
More quotes by Jay Leno
The Mars rover Curiosity has sent back images of some odd things on the surface of Mars, and some people think they could be UFOs. Here's my question. If we're on the surface of Mars, aren't we the UFO?
Jay Leno
They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's nothing. He once raised $500 million with two words: 'I do.'
Jay Leno
Authorities in New York City have foiled a plot by terrorists to blow up the Holland Tunnel. There was one awkward moment when officials informed President Bush the Holland Tunnel was safe. Bush then thanked the Dutch authorities for all their help.
Jay Leno
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.
Jay Leno
There is a video out now on how to please men. Here's tip number 1: Just show up!
Jay Leno
Elections officials here in California are concerned that having 247 candidates would require a ballot so long it would be difficult to count. Today in Florida they said, 'What? You count the ballots?'
Jay Leno
CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.
Jay Leno
People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans.
Jay Leno
In America, we like everyone to know about the good work we're doing anonymously.
Jay Leno
President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.
Jay Leno
George W. Bush loves golf because it's like the election--low score wins.
Jay Leno
I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.
Jay Leno
Now this really annoys me: All these people getting on the Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today his name would be Miss Cleo and he'd be charging $2.99 a minute.
Jay Leno
The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.
Jay Leno
You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid.
Jay Leno
Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
Jay Leno
Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just like the earth.
Jay Leno
Presidential Democratic front-runner Howard Dean admitted to Chris Matthews on the 'Hardball' show that he got out of the draft because of a bad back. He had a curvature of the spine. Apparently it curved too far to the left.
Jay Leno
I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.
Jay Leno
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama, who spent three years promoting it, and a major setback for Mitt Romney, who spent three years creating it.
Jay Leno