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Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Make
Donald
Obama
Says
Trump
Worst
Decision
President
True
Nightmare
More quotes by Jay Leno
At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down.
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If you're a car salesman, and someone says This is a terrible car, I'm not buying it, it doesn't mean they hate you. They just don't like your product. I think that's a mistake a lot of people in show business make.. they're so tied to their act they take everything personally.
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(Gray) Davis said yesterday that he is going to fight like a Bengal tiger, which I believe is also an endangered species.
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Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: Former president George Bush.
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Real movement in the Kerry campaign now. His poll numbers are moving, donations are moving, endorsements are moving. The only thing not moving is his hair.
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As you may have heard, the U.S. is putting together a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? Think about it - it was written by very smart people, it's served us well for over two hundred years, and besides, we're not using it anymore.
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There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it's safe to say that after all these years, Diet Coke is a complete failure.
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Attorney General John Ashcroft has been hospitalized. I believe he is suffering from homophobia. No, actually, it was just gallstones, but when they gave him the hospital gown that opens in the back, he refused to wear it, he thought it was a gay wedding dress.
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The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code - they don't like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.
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Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually wear off.
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Anybody who gives their car to a valet isn't a car guy
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Clinton vetoed the repeal of the marriage tax. I guess Bill figures if he's married, then we all have to suffer.
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Racecar driving is a lot like sex all men think they're good at it.
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The Boston Globe is reporting that Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry used to date actress Morgan Fairchild but it didn't work out. Apparently she couldn't handle dating someone with bigger hair then she had.
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The latest issue of GQ magazine, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John Kerry is going to talk about what he likes in a woman, shouldn't it be in Fortune or Money magazine?
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They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So President Bush isn't losing American jobs anymore, he's branching out to other countries.
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President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal?
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The United States military is now using the music of Metallica and other heavy metal bands to break the will of Saddam Hussein supporters to get them to talk. Theyre blaring heavy metal music at them. That should make the artist feel pretty good, huh? Put your heart and soul into your last CD and the Army is using it to torture people.
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Martha Stewart is now under house arrest. So she'll go to her $40 million 153-acre estate. So she's going from the big house to an even bigger house.
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And some sad news... the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities.
Jay Leno