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A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
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New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Funny
Bills
President
Clinton
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Americans
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Nation
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Person
Fun
Screwed
Believe
Honest
Polls
Time
Least
Bill
Nations
Bush
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L.A.'s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.
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Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry because of security reasons. Because they're easy to hack into. In fact, when Obama heard he might have to give it up, he said, 'OMG! WTF?' I mean, he couldn't believe it.
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Never perform for your family. They either laugh too hard or not at all.
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Nissan is designing a car that will read the driver's mind. I already know what I'm going to do. I want a car that will read the other guy's mind.
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The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
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Al Gore is coming out with a movie about global warming called ' An Inconvenient Truth. ' It's described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, 'Ice Age 2 The Meltdown.' He said, 'It's so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.'
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Congratulations to President Obama on being reelected president of the United States. Turns out it is not all bad news for the Republicans. It seems that depression is covered by Obamacare.
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John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke.
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Apparently 26 years ago, Arnold gave an interview to Oui magazine about his sex life. The good news is that Arnold is married to Maria Shriver and now that he's had a sex scandal, the Kennedy family has finally accepted him.
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If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
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At the Sharper Image store, I saw a body fat analyzer. Didn't that used to be called a mirror?
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You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke the 11th commandment, 'Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff.'
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The Obama administration has revealed the size of America's nuclear arsenal. We have 1,000 warheads aimed at China, 1,000 aimed at Russia, and the rest aimed at Fox News.
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Before we give the government any more money, show us some receipts.
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They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it's not the bun?
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Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home countries or enter the New York City cab driver training program.
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Oliver North says he is very upset that John Walker could come back to this country and cash in on his celebrity status. He hates to see someone who did something wrong get rewarded by writing a book or getting a TV show out of it.
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A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good this guy's disguise was, instead of a holdup note he was reading from a teleprompter.
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Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.
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There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class they really beat up.
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