Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed the nation, he did it one person at a time.
Jay Leno
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Believe
Honest
Polls
Time
Least
Bill
Nations
Bush
Funny
Bills
President
Clinton
Shows
Americans
Persons
Nation
Poll
Person
Fun
Screwed
More quotes by Jay Leno
Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.
Jay Leno
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
Jay Leno
A top geneticist at Stanford says human intelligence is declining. You know what that means? We are seeing Congress at its smartest and most effective right now.
Jay Leno
There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart. He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living here by election time.
Jay Leno
The Environmental Protection Agency is conducting a seven-hundred-thousand-dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans are in power. Pollution? It's those damn trees.
Jay Leno
John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty and he was afraid he might kill the goose that laid the golden egg.
Jay Leno
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
Jay Leno
A fitness instructor in Maine has been charged with running a prostitution business out of her Zumba dance studio. Authorities first got suspicious when they saw guys going to work out at a Zumba dance studio.
Jay Leno
President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished.
Jay Leno
The economy is so bad that bedbugs are now infesting sleeping bags and tents, because they can't afford to stay in hotels anymore.
Jay Leno
At a press conference yesterday NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming is so bad, if the presidential election were held today, Al Gore would still lose.
Jay Leno
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet the next day the malls will be overrun with Mayans trying to buy last-minute gifts.
Jay Leno
Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.
Jay Leno
I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for Running off to Canada.
Jay Leno
Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her husband Bill: he was always ready for a woman in the Oval Office.
Jay Leno
The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.
Jay Leno
There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach to 1st class they really beat up.
Jay Leno
General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even win elections.
Jay Leno
We're heading for a gov. shutdown. This is serious. W/o the gov who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will put us 14 trillion dollars in debt?
Jay Leno
Regulations force people to do better.
Jay Leno