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When you do late-night TV, you do different jokes in the same place every night. When you're on the road as a comedian, you do the same jokes in a different place every night.

Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Place
Different
Every
Comedian
Jokes
Road
Late
Night

More quotes by Jay Leno

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Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in the first few months.
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Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can.
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John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.
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Governor Gray Davis has asked the California state Supreme Court to delay the October recall vote because he says that's not enough time to put on a fair election. Hey, let me tell you something. If we didn't need a fair election to pick the president of the United States, we don't need a fair election to pick the governor of California.
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Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can't even keep Joe Biden in line.
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Pundits are saying that President Obama is starting to lose support among his own party. To give you an idea of how bad it's gotten, today Jimmy Carter compared him to Jimmy Carter.
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Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.
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A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next time you're looking for a used car.
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The Mirror interviewed one of Osama bin Laden's sons and said bin Laden has 42 children. That's going to happen when you sleep in a different cave every night.
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Here's the latest from the Pentagon -- the generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts Afghanistan and Fox News.
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Here is a very inexpensive costume idea. Wear a re-elect Obama button and go out as a journalist.
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President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.
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If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
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Anheuser-Busch gives two free cases of beer to its employees at all of its parks, like Busch Gardens. That's a comforting thought the next time you're getting ready to get on the roller coaster!
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Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.
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Did you hear about the dog that was so high-strung, he developed a nervous tick?
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President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.
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Know what the Taliban leaders like to do for fun? Just sit around and get bombed.
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Actually, the University of California says they may start a marijuana research center. Really? I thought the University of California was a marijuana research center.
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The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets.
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