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Jay Leno

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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
America
Work
Good
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Anonymously
Everyone

More quotes by Jay Leno

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President Obama was in Disney World today where he unveiled his new plan to create jobs. He was joined by Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse but not Goofy. He had to stay behind to tend to his vice presidential duties.
Jay Leno
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My dad's idea of a good time is to go to Sears and walk around.
Jay Leno
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There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart. He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living here by election time.
Jay Leno
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Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.
Jay Leno
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Now, today is the day we honor, of course, the Presidents, ranging from George Washington, who couldn't tell a lie, to George Bush, who couldn't tell the truth, to Bill Clinton, who couldn't tell the difference.
Jay Leno
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More warnings issued by all branches of the government today that another terrorist attack is imminent. We're not sure when, we're not sure where, just that it is coming. Who is attacking us now, the cable company?
Jay Leno
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Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because the states could do a gooder job.
Jay Leno
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As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for the Iraq War, and said Barack Obama did not have the experience to be president. I'm sorry, that's our intro for next week when Joe Biden is on, I got confused.
Jay Leno
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Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference.
Jay Leno
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President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off.
Jay Leno
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President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme - “Safer, Stronger, and Tested.” Isn't that a condom ad?
Jay Leno
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I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'
Jay Leno
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Before we give the government any more money, show us some receipts.
Jay Leno
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If I could ask Ken Lay one question right now, do you know what it would be? Does the Devil really wear Prada?
Jay Leno
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A survey released today found that men spend twice as much on their mistresses for Christmas as they do on their wives. On the other hand, men spend half their income on the wives when the wife finds out about the mistress. So it all balances out.
Jay Leno
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We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards?
Jay Leno
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Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It's going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as women grow another breast, men will want another hand.
Jay Leno
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When Clinton said he was going to create 8 million new jobs, I didn't think they were all going to be tax collectors.
Jay Leno
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A lot of people are now criticizing Attorney General John Ashcroft for his policy on detaining what he considers suspicious people. I think he's going a little overboard. Today, he arrested the entire band Foreigner.
Jay Leno
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According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than they raised? Well, that's called being a Democrat
Jay Leno