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Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
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Jay Leno
Age: 74
Born: 1950
Born: April 28
Actor
Comedian
Dancer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Singer
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
New Rochelle
New York
James Douglas Muir Leno
Jay Douglas Muir Leno
James Leno
Romantic
Call
Funny
Today
Men
Extortion
Like
Singles
Valentine
Sarcastic
More quotes by Jay Leno
You know what is interesting, Condit is very conservative. He voted to post the ten commandments in schools. Yet, he himself broke the 11th commandment, 'Thou shall not put thy rod in thy staff.'
Jay Leno
Here's the latest from the Pentagon -- the generals are worried that the White House is spreading itself thin by trying to fight a war on two fronts Afghanistan and Fox News.
Jay Leno
(Gray) Davis said yesterday that he is going to fight like a Bengal tiger, which I believe is also an endangered species.
Jay Leno
President Clinton and President Obama played a round of golf over the weekend. President Clinton asked Obama what his handicap was, and Obama said, 'Joe Biden.'
Jay Leno
The White House has now released military documents that they say prove George Bush met his requirements for the National Guard. Big deal, we've got documents that prove Al Gore won the election.
Jay Leno
In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president.
Jay Leno
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
Jay Leno
It's always bad news when you kill your date
Jay Leno
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God told him to run now his wife is telling him to run. Of course, the big difference if you ignore what God says you don't have to hear about it until the afterlife. That's the only difference.
Jay Leno
There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.
Jay Leno
That must be strange, cheating on your wife with a flight attendant. They're in bed and she's says, 'In the event that wife should come home early please notice the location of the nearest emergency exit.'
Jay Leno
I guess you heard about this the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.
Jay Leno
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Jay Leno
It is said that life begins when the fetus can exist apart from its mother. By this definition, many people in Hollywood are legally dead.
Jay Leno
Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.
Jay Leno
Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.
Jay Leno
Politics is just show business for ugly people.
Jay Leno
Ann Landers said that you are addicted to sex if you have sex more than 3 times a day, and that you should seek professional help. I have news for Ann Landers: The only way I am going to get sex 3 times a day is if I seek professional help.
Jay Leno
President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms. He's going to disappear and go fishing. So he must think he's back in the National Guard.
Jay Leno
I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.
Jay Leno