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But they were wrong. There was a reason.
Jay Asher
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Jay Asher
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 30
Novelist
Writer
Arcadia
California
Wrong
Reason
More quotes by Jay Asher
I could picture life—school and everything else—continuing on without me. But I could not picture my funeral. Not at all. Mostly because I couldn’t imagine who would attend or what they would say.
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This time, for the first time, I saw the possibilities in giving up. I even found hope in it.
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A flood of emotions rushes into me. Pain and anger. Sadness and pity. But most surprising of all, hope.
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And what about you-the rest of you-did you notice the scars you left behind? No. Probably not. Because most of them can't be seen with the naked eye.
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And as I stood there in the hallway―alone―trying to understand what had just happened and why, I realized the truth: I wasn't worth an explanation―not even a reaction. Not in your eyes.
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Whenever I'm out late she makes a sandwich for my school lunch. I always protest and tell her not to, saying I'll make my own when I get home. But she likes it. She says it reminds her of when I was younger and needed her.
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I decided to find out how people at school might react if one of the students never came back.
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I sat. And I thought. And the more I thought, connecting the events in my life, the more my heart collapsed.
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Because I've heard so many stories that I don't know which one is the most popular. But I do know which is the least popular. The truth.
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But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head.
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You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.
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Actually, I love trying to figure out why certain books become hits while others, which may be just as good, have trouble finding an audience.
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I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why.
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Maybe it's not as important to you as it was for me, but that's not for you to decide.
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God, I am freaking out. Maybe he doesn’t know. Maybe I just look guilty of something and he’s picking up on that.
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It's nothing. A school project. My go-to answer for anything. Staying out late? School project. Need extra money? School project.
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You told me I wrote that poem because I was afraid of dealing with myself. And I used my mom as an excuse, accusing her of not appreciating or accepting me, when I should have been saying those words into a mirror.
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I want to collapse. I want to fall on the sidewalk right there and drag myself to the ivy.
Jay Asher
Yes, it feels great to plan your life when you believe everything can turn out fine. But what about when you're shown, again and again, how little control you have over anything? No matter what I do to try to fix my future, it doesn't work.
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I hate not knowing what to believe anymore. I hate not knowing what's real.
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