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And as I stood there in the hallway―alone―trying to understand what had just happened and why, I realized the truth: I wasn't worth an explanation―not even a reaction. Not in your eyes.
Jay Asher
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Jay Asher
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: September 30
Novelist
Writer
Arcadia
California
Trying
Wasn
Hallway
Alone
Hallways
Eyes
Reaction
Happened
Stood
Eye
Explanation
Understand
Reactions
Truth
Realized
Even
Worth
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My breathing begins to slow. The tension in my muscles starts to relax. Then, a click in the headphones. A slow breath of air. I open my eyes to bright moonlight. And Hannah, with warmth. Thank you.
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How in the world was I alone? Because I wanted to be. That's all I can say. It's all that makes sense to me.
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He looks out into the empty street, allowing me to sit in his car and just miss her. To miss her each time I pull in a breath of air. To miss her with a heart that feels so cold by itself, but warm when thoughts of her flow through me.
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But they were wrong. There was a reason.
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Yes, it feels great to plan your life when you believe everything can turn out fine. But what about when you're shown, again and again, how little control you have over anything? No matter what I do to try to fix my future, it doesn't work.
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And it feels strange, almost sad, to walk through ther empty halls. Each step I take sounds so lonely.
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