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If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Real
Never
Would
World
Publisher
Publishers
Find
Book

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.
Jasper Fforde
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Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
Jasper Fforde
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Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.
Jasper Fforde
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Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought--and more reading.
Jasper Fforde
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True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good - and we all know how rare that is.
Jasper Fforde
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A missing arm might ruin your symmetry. Personal asymmetry where I come from is a big taboo and brings great shame on the family and sometimes even the whole village. Do you then have to kill yourself over it or something? Goodness me, no! The family and village just have to learn to be ashamed--and nuts to them for being so oversensitive.
Jasper Fforde
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Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.
Jasper Fforde
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If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
Jasper Fforde
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Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.
Jasper Fforde
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I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.
Jasper Fforde
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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
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Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.
Jasper Fforde
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How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?
Jasper Fforde
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The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition.
Jasper Fforde
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You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library. She pointed to the shelf opposite. Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.
Jasper Fforde
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Apart from the faint odor of ink that pervaded the scene, it might have been real.
Jasper Fforde
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The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops.
Jasper Fforde
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Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.
Jasper Fforde
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I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years, she announced with some small sense of achievement. I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.
Jasper Fforde