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The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Still
Driving
Chagrin
Much
Tests
Grade
Make
Based
Grades
Unique
Maturity
Failing
Kingdom
Age
Kingdoms
Two
Males
Stills
Thirty

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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To a great extent, I still write for myself, write what amuses me. Fortunately, I have a quirky sort of strange sense of humor that appeals to other people and that's good. I still sort of write for myself though there are some areas of the book I feel I have to put in and I feel I have to deliver.
Jasper Fforde
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I don't need you to agree with me, she said quietly. I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt. Doubt is good. It's an emotion we can build on. Perhaps if we feed it with curiosity it will blossom into something useful, like suspicion - and action.
Jasper Fforde
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We all make mistakes at some time in our lives, some more than others. It is only when the cost is counted in human lives that people really take notice.
Jasper Fforde
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The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition.
Jasper Fforde
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: Remember, m'boy, his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
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I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years, she announced with some small sense of achievement. I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.
Jasper Fforde
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Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer.
Jasper Fforde
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I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
Jasper Fforde
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Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.
Jasper Fforde
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I have the death sentence in seven genres.
Jasper Fforde
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You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.
Jasper Fforde
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Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
Jasper Fforde
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I'll tell you what love is I said, It is blind devotion, unquestioning self humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your heart and soul to the smiter.
Jasper Fforde
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Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.
Jasper Fforde
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Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.
Jasper Fforde
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Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.
Jasper Fforde
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Do I have to talk to insane people? You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.
Jasper Fforde
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How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark. A whale isn't a fish, Thursday. A whale shark is--sort of. All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish. A crayfish isn't a fish. A starfish, then. Still not a fish. This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.
Jasper Fforde
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Sorry, [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
Jasper Fforde
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History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.
Jasper Fforde