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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Sure
Talk
Dies
Everyone
Nothing
Pretend
Important
Mad
Make
Absolutely
Bits
More quotes by Jasper Fforde
Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
Don't move, said Sprockett.Mimes don't generally attack unless they are threatened.
Jasper Fforde
That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
Jasper Fforde
Our notions of self-determination are, on the whole, something of a myth. We are governed almost exclusively by our own peculiar habits, which makes those who rail against them that much more remarkable.
Jasper Fforde
I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
Jasper Fforde
The barriers between reality and fiction are softer than we think a bit like a frozen lake. Hundreds of people can walk across it, but then one evening a thin spot develops and someone falls through the hole is frozen over by the following morning.
Jasper Fforde
If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
Jasper Fforde
Prejudice is a product of ignorance that hides behind barriers of tradition.
Jasper Fforde
There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
I have the death sentence in seven genres.
Jasper Fforde
It wasn’t going to be hard…it was going to be impossible. It wouldn’t deter me. I'd done impossible things several times in the past, and the prospect didn’t scare me as much as it used to.
Jasper Fforde
Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.
Jasper Fforde
The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
How many people want to read about three disreputable pigs and a dopey wolf with a disposition towards house demolition?
Jasper Fforde
The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.
Jasper Fforde
The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops.
Jasper Fforde
He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers. - Dad Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around. - Stafford
Jasper Fforde
A missing arm might ruin your symmetry. Personal asymmetry where I come from is a big taboo and brings great shame on the family and sometimes even the whole village. Do you then have to kill yourself over it or something? Goodness me, no! The family and village just have to learn to be ashamed--and nuts to them for being so oversensitive.
Jasper Fforde
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
Jasper Fforde
Edward, Edward, he said with a patronising smile, there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question.
Jasper Fforde