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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Make
Absolutely
Bits
Sure
Talk
Dies
Everyone
Nothing
Pretend
Important
Mad

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
Jasper Fforde
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You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.
Jasper Fforde
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The Kingdom of Hereford was unique in the Ununited Kingdoms for having driving tests based on maturity, not age, much to the chagrin of a lot of males, some of whom were still failing to make the grade at thirty-two.
Jasper Fforde
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Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.
Jasper Fforde
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Sorry, [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
Jasper Fforde
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If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.
Jasper Fforde
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The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
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Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.
Jasper Fforde
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Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.
Jasper Fforde
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You nearly killed eight people! I managed to gasp out loud. My count was closer to twelve, returned Havisham as she opened the door. And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
Jasper Fforde
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I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.
Jasper Fforde
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What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
Jasper Fforde
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There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
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Don't move, said Sprockett.Mimes don't generally attack unless they are threatened.
Jasper Fforde
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Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of antiquarian books. 'Impressive, eh?' 'Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amass all these?' 'Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrows books and never gives them back?' 'Yes...?' 'I'm that person.
Jasper Fforde
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Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
Jasper Fforde
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People who read my books have an open mind when it comes to new, bizarre, interesting and exciting ideas.
Jasper Fforde
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Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
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The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
Jasper Fforde
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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
Jasper Fforde