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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.

Jasper Fforde

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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Talk
Dies
Everyone
Nothing
Pretend
Important
Mad
Make
Absolutely
Bits
Sure

More quotes by Jasper Fforde

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To each our own Hamlet.
Jasper Fforde
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: Remember, m'boy, his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
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Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.
Jasper Fforde
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Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.
Jasper Fforde
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I have the death sentence in seven genres.
Jasper Fforde
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Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.
Jasper Fforde
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Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.
Jasper Fforde
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You have many fine qualities that I admire. But you are out of time. You should have been born a century ago, when values such as yours meant something.
Jasper Fforde
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Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.
Jasper Fforde
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Sometimes choice is a luxury that fate does not afford us.
Jasper Fforde
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Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
Jasper Fforde
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He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. Friends, he'd once said, are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
Jasper Fforde
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The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops.
Jasper Fforde
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Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.
Jasper Fforde
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I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.
Jasper Fforde
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Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.
Jasper Fforde
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You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.
Jasper Fforde
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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
Jasper Fforde
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That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
Jasper Fforde
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The best plans are always the simplest.
Jasper Fforde