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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Talk
Dies
Everyone
Nothing
Pretend
Important
Mad
Make
Absolutely
Bits
Sure
More quotes by Jasper Fforde
The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
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I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.
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Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.
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I'll tell you what love is I said, It is blind devotion, unquestioning self humiliation, utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the whole world, giving up your heart and soul to the smiter.
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Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.
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Sometimes choice is a luxury that fate does not afford us.
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I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.
Jasper Fforde
Edward, Edward, he said with a patronising smile, there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question.
Jasper Fforde
I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde
I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
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History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.
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If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
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True and baseless evil is as rare as the purest good - and we all know how rare that is.
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For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
Jasper Fforde
Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way.
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If only life were that simple if one could jump to the good parts and flick through the bad.
Jasper Fforde
Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.
Jasper Fforde
Ordinary adults don't like children to speak of things that are denied them by their own gray minds.
Jasper Fforde
There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.
Jasper Fforde