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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
London
England
Important
Mad
Make
Absolutely
Bits
Sure
Talk
Dies
Everyone
Nothing
Pretend
More quotes by Jasper Fforde
A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.
Jasper Fforde
Palindrome as well. My sister's name is Hannah. Father liked word games. He was fourteen times World Scrabble Champion. When he died, we buried him at Queenzieburn to make use of the triple word score.
Jasper Fforde
I work very much on the principle that anything created by mankind has mischief and error hardwired into its inception.
Jasper Fforde
Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.
Jasper Fforde
History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.
Jasper Fforde
There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.
Jasper Fforde
Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.
Jasper Fforde
He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers. - Dad Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around. - Stafford
Jasper Fforde
Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.
Jasper Fforde
I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.
Jasper Fforde
DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: Remember, m'boy, his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
Jasper Fforde
Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde
The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
Cats aren't really friendly, they're just cozying up to the dominant life-form as a hedge against extinction.
Jasper Fforde
The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
Jasper Fforde
There is a certain degree of steampunkishness that creeps into my books.
Jasper Fforde
Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.
Jasper Fforde