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The name is Schitt, he replied. Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
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Jasper Fforde
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: January 11
Novelist
Science Fiction Writer
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London
England
Jack
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More quotes by Jasper Fforde
You nearly killed eight people! I managed to gasp out loud. My count was closer to twelve, returned Havisham as she opened the door. And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
Jasper Fforde
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.
Jasper Fforde
I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years, she announced with some small sense of achievement. I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.
Jasper Fforde
Who do readers expect to see when they pick up this book? Who has won the Most Troubled Romantic Lead at the BookWorld Awards seventy-seven times in a row? Me. All me.
Jasper Fforde
Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.
Jasper Fforde
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
Jasper Fforde
...the landscape inside Lord of the Rings was so stunning and so stupendous that it could be absorbed as a form of nourishment.
Jasper Fforde
If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams.
Jasper Fforde
...being written by someone who might not quite understand the subconscious nuance of the character leaves us in varying degrees of flatness.
Jasper Fforde
Reading, I had learned, was as creative a process as writing, sometimes more so. When we read of the dying rays of the setting sun or the boom and swish of the incoming tide, we should reserve as much praise for ourselves as for the author. After all, the reader is doing all the work - the writer might have died long ago.
Jasper Fforde
Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
Jasper Fforde
He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. Friends, he'd once said, are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
Jasper Fforde
Apart from the faint odor of ink that pervaded the scene, it might have been real.
Jasper Fforde
Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.
Jasper Fforde
Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.
Jasper Fforde
I have the death sentence in seven genres.
Jasper Fforde
Edward, Edward, he said with a patronising smile, there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question.
Jasper Fforde
Lesson one in time travel, Thursday. First of all, we are all time travellers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day.
Jasper Fforde
Cash is always the deciding factor in such matters of moral politics nothing ever gets done unless motivated by commerce or greed.
Jasper Fforde